Okay. I’m no clinical specialist when it comes to depression, but I know what I know when it comes to me and what I’ve experienced and yeah, guys I was going through it with depression. It’s got so many different levels. Depression is real and just because someone is successful doesn’t mean that they don’t have hard times that they go through in their mind and their heart and their spirit, and other things that are outside of who we are that can affect us. 2018 was a very hard year for me. Well, I’ve been hurt by so many people, but in 2018 I experienced it on a very huge level which affected me mentally.
It affected me emotionally and it even affected me financially because I had people that did things that caused my business to suffer financially for a little while because they made decisions that were very selfish and I had to do what I had to do for my business. When I tell you that I had my moments where I felt like, is this even worth it anymore? You know, I started to think about people that you hear of that have been super amazing on-screen or in business. People like Robin Williams, the comedian who committed suicide. I’m like, he overdosed on some prescription drugs and maybe hung himself. I don’t remember all of the full details on that. Kate spade, super successful handbag designer and um, has an amazing brand and she killed herself because she was going through some, some personal things and a number of other people.
I’m not saying that I came to the point where I was thinking about taking myself out of here, but I understood more. But depression is real and it has a lot of different levels. But how someone in business can deal with depression or have depression and suffer in Silence is because when you are a businesswoman, a businessman, an entrepreneur or someone that’s in business, it’s not just you, you work for everyone else.
I tell people this all the time. When you are in business, it’s not about you anymore. It is about everyone else. It’s about your customers. It’s about your clients. It’s about your employees and staff if you have them. It’s about the people that you owe money to that are providing services for you so that you can conduct business. It’s not about you anymore, it’s about your family that’s depending on you. So there’s so much pressure that’s on you as an individual entrepreneur that you can’t really allow anyone around you to see you breaking down. So you have to come in, put a smile on your face, continue to conduct yourself as if everything is okay and it’s really not. I even shared some things with one of my employees the end of 2018 not because I wanted to share, divulge my own business information, but she’s one of the people that’s been rocking with me from the very beginning of me even having staff.
And I shared, you know, a few things with her and she said, wow, I didn’t even know you were going through all of that. I’d never would have known if you didn’t tell me. And I said, yeah. I said I couldn’t. I had to come in and continue to be the Elizabeth that you know, to be here because I can’t have you guys thinking that I’m breaking down or that the business is, you know, not going to be around or you know, whatever types of thoughts might come to your mind if you feel like I’m losing it so to speak. And so yeah, I was like, yeah, I had to continue to operate in spite of what I was going through so I could not let you see me sweat. I could not let you see me feel discouragement or look like I’m defeated.
I had to keep moving forward, but it really was not easy. It was very hard and there’s so much pressure on me that I didn’t know how much longer I could do it without breaking. So yeah, we have to keep up appearances for the sake of people not thinking that we’re crazy. And unfortunately, when Kate spade committed suicide, you started seeing all these different memes and Facebook posts where people were talking about “I’m here for you. If you need me, all you have to do is reach out.” But to be honest with you, most people don’t want to hear about the hard struggles that you’re going through. It’s just the truth. That’s why on social media, people, for the most part, want to see happiness. See you winning, see amazing, great things happening. They don’t want to see people that are going through hard times and struggling or you know, whatever they’re going through.
People don’t really want to see that. And I understand why; because it’s kind of an escape. No one wants to be going through their own issues and struggles and then they go to social media and then they see someone on there talking about the hard things that they’re going through or complaining about, you know, talking about how hard things are. Nobody really wants to hear that!
So a lot of times that stuff is just talk for the moment, but it’s not genuine. But yeah, you know, I was depressed and there were a number of times where I thought about just hopping in my coupe and just hitting the road and driving and just going wherever. No, no plan in place. Just get the heck up outta here because it was just that heavy. And I was like, is this even worth it? And honestly, those moments come to a lot of people on a number of occasions.
It’s just if you choose to stay there. So I made the decision that I wasn’t going to stay in that space. I knew it wasn’t healthy, I just knew that it was going to get better. It can’t stay bad forever. It has to get better at some point. So, you know, I dived into content that was super uplifting and inspirational to lift my spirits and to lift my heart, remind myself of who I am, go back to my affirmations that I had written about myself and continue to speak it even when I didn’t feel it. But just saying it is psyching myself up to get to a better headspace because I knew that space wasn’t healthy for me and I had to get out of there. I couldn’t stay there.
You can have depressing moments as well. It’s not always just about because you’ve had some financial, health or familial depressing moments that bring you down. But sometimes it’s just because you’re so lonely and nobody that you are around with really understand your journey. I’m not an only child. I do have another sibling, but we don’t have a relationship. And I don’t know if we ever will, but you know, some things were done to me by him that was super hurtful and it, you know, it caused some depressing moments as well, but I have to remind myself that I was created for greatness. I had to really dig deep, shut out those voices that were shouting in my head that you don’t deserve success. You’re not worthy. You are going to fail. All of those negative words that were being, set in my head that was not true.
I had to dismiss those thoughts and I had to speak out positive affirmations and it did help overtime to help lift my spirits. And again, being around other people I had to put on a brave face and that smile and show my teeth and say all is well when people would ask me how things are because I couldn’t break down as an entrepreneur battling depression in silence.
So when you see someone that’s super successful and then you hear a story about how they took themselves out of here, don’t question that anymore. You have to know that people are going through some really hard struggles, and it’s not always because they’ve got a lot of money in the bank, and their business is doing well. There are so many other factors that are involved, so just remember that.
Being an Esthetician is a dream come true for me. One of the things I love most about this career is getting to try new things. One of these things I have tried and have been loving, I want to share, so check out this video!
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You may have had some doors closed in your face, in your life, in your business, in your school that you’re attending and it can feel very discouraging. I know because I’ve been there on a number of occasions in my life, seriously, but I’m here to tell you from my own personal and business scenarios that closed doors do not mean dead ends and they can be great opportunities for you to start over to do something different. I had a number of doors closed in my face, like I said, over the years, but especially in 2018 I had a number of things that turned around a number of people that did different things and closed the doors on me and it was hurtful for a moment. I did feel like, well, is this it? Is this the end?
But I soon picked myself back up and I realized that, you know what, I didn’t get into this because these people were the ones that told me to do this. I got into this because I knew that I had a vision and a plan and God has something greater for me. So just because they may have closed the doors doesn’t mean that it’s a dead end. It just means it’s an opportunity for me to regroup. I think about things a little bit differently, make some plans, arrangements that are going to turn some things around and it’s absolutely turning around. So again, close doors do not mean dead ends. They can be great opportunities for success. Think about some of the greats in business who have had situations that happen to them, but they became more super successful than other people could have ever imagined or dreamed and sometimes maybe even bigger than they even imagined or dreamed.
So don’t see a closed door as a dead end. See it as an opportunity. Seize on the moment, do your research, get coaching, mentoring whatever you need to do to help you because you can’t do it all alone. You do need help, and watch things start to flourish and turn around in your life. And then be thankful for that closed door as an open opportunity.
Let me know some situations that you’ve had where you had a door close in your life, whether it was personal or business, and how you overcame it, or if you’re still going through. If you would like to schedule a chat with me, you can do so here. https://calendly.com/themobeauty
I wanted to talk about something that was on my business brain and wanted to share it with you. So if you have been hiding under a rock for the last month or so, you don’t know about this situation that happened. But there was a young lady who was attending a nightclub in Atlanta, Georgia and she was pretty much on live on Facebook the entire time of her having fun and doing whatever she was doing. And then she wound up being in a situation where they’re saying, or she’s saying she was sexually assaulted; raped and it was all on live video. I don’t know what the situation is. I’ve seen some of it. Some of it is pretty graphic, but some of it you can’t really see and you can’t really tell. But here’s what I wanted to talk about regarding this situation. I’m not here to declare that she was raped or she wasn’t. That’s not what I wanted to talk about. But what I wanted to talk about as a businesswoman and as an entrepreneur, my gripe with the legal system and how some attorneys target people and businesses for the sake of the dollar. Now this young woman has obtained counsel and her attorney is suing the nightclub where she was allegedly sexually assaulted.
I do not agree with the nightclub being sued and being held legally responsible civilly, to have to pay her money because an individual that paid their money to get into this club just like she did and just like everyone else did something that was wrong. I don’t care if this was an event that former president Barack Obama was attending or Michelle Obama or whoever that is of a high caliber and they didn’t have enough security there to secure and make sure that adults are going to act like adults and not animals. I don’t believe that the business should be held responsible for the actions of that one person. I believe that person should be held responsible for that. And I think at the time of this video, this person has been charged and has been arrested. And unless that person could be, uh, held civilly responsible in terms of monetary damages, which he could be I don’t believe that she or her attorney should be going after the nightclub. She can sue this guy, in civil court and press criminal charges. She could get a judgment against him. She might not be able to collect on it because he doesn’t have any money. He doesn’t have two dimes to rub together, but she still could get a judgment.
But she is going after the entity that has the most likelihood of having money, having insurance, having the ability to pay money, whether it’s through a settlement or going to court, going through the whole process and having a judge or jury find that the club is civilly responsible when having them to pay damages. I don’t think she should be going after the club, but unfortunately we live in the Sue-S-A (My nickname for the USA) I’ve called it that for years because if you don’t know, I was a legal assistant for 12 years and I got out of the field for many reasons but the fatigue of people suing for this and that got draining.
I’ve been an entrepreneur since 2006 and I’ve always had a gripe with the legal system when it comes to things like this, because I’ve seen a number of things come across my desk when I was a legal assistant, someone attending a party at a friend’s house (a friend, mind you, not a stranger), they slipped and fell. They sue the friend who’s the homeowner so that they could collect on their homeowner’s insurance policy. I get it. Those things are in place, but I never agreed with that. I never understood why things are set up that way as to not have people take personal responsibility for their own actions. It really is set up in a way where adults do not have to take personal responsibility for their own actions or just, you know, saying, you know what, it was an accident. I’m so sorry that it happened.
Let’s pay for your doctor’s bills and move on, but for you to trip and fall at someone’s house, you may have busted your knee and you might have a doctor bill of four or 500 bucks and now you want 15,000. I’ve never agreed with it.
So now this young lady is going to sue this nightclub. I watched some of the press conferences that the attorney had, and I’ll be honest with you, I laughed at it a little bit. I didn’t laugh at the victim. I actually was laughing at the things the attorney was saying because the attorney was basically not saying much about the offender, the alleged offender, everything had to do with the nightclub, how they were negligent, how they didn’t have enough security there. They shouldn’t have allowed this man to carry this woman out of the nightclub. Like, I just didn’t understand it.
I was laughing at it because it was almost like he was just arguing his case in front of an invisible judge because it was just the media and local media and press that was there at this press conference, but it was all to try to convince others and himself that they have a very viable case. She’s probably going to get some money. You know, companies like this, they have insurance policies. They probably get sued a lot, but the reason why I wanted to talk about it, because as a businesswoman and someone who’s been in business for many years, the bigger you get, and the more known you are, the more you become a target by others who don’t want to take personal responsibility for themselves and they’re just looking for a quick come up and I just don’t think it’s cool. In my industry, we have what’s called general liability and professional liability.
Now as the owner of my business, I have insurance policies in place, but all of the service providers who are also licensed in their own right to provide beauty services, they’re responsible for having their own liability insurance. So if someone were to come against my business saying that they received a beauty service and it caused them harm and they want to sue me and they get a copy of my insurance policy, it clearly states that the business is not responsible. The person who’s providing the service is responsible and if they don’t have liability insurance, I mean having liability insurance is not a requirement. It’s just a really great idea to do it. Then they legally can’t come after me. They can try it.
But I had someone tried to do it some time ago and it didn’t get them anywhere because when they requested a copy of my liability policy, I sent it into them. I sent it to their attorney and there was no followup after that because there really was no case; not the mention the person was lying (but that’s another blog for another time).
But that is why I wanted to talk about this. There is no reason, in my opinion, that they should be suing the nightclub, but you may think otherwise, you can respectfully disagree. I’m not here to talk about the victim or what she went through. I’m talking about the fact that they’re going after the nightclub civilly to get money for something that someone else did to her that was a patron in their business just like she was.