What Do You Do When It All Comes Crashing Down?

What Do You Do When It All Comes Crashing Down?

We will often have moments in our lives when it seems like it’s one thing after another.  And by that I mean bad things.  Because let’s face it, there’s never a problem with an abundance of great things happening in our lives, right?

But that’s just not life.  It’s not business . . . It’s not reality.  In life there will be moments when we may feel like we’re suffocating for air.  There may be people that are turning against us that we thought would be there for the long haul.  Our friends and family may not understand our lives and project their issues on you or how they think you should react to situations that arise.  So when it all comes crashing down, we need to give up.  Right?!  WRONG!!!!  Listne I know that it may feel like we have to surrender and give up on what we’ve been doing.  But often retreat is defined as giving up.  But you need a retreat.  A moment, a time to get away, regroup and figure things out.  I had a series of things happen in my life and business over the past year and even in the past few weeks that made me rethink some things.  But I decided to retreat.  For a moment.  Giving up is not an option.  I’ve come to far in life to give up now and I believe the best is yet to come.  So you have to believe it too.  Trust me, I know it’s not easy, but you have to continue to keep moving because there are others you are supposed to help through their situations and you will only be able to do that once you have conquered and obtained the victory.  And the victory may not always feel like a win, especially if you didn’t come out of it with lots of money, status or applause.  But the fact that you made it through with some scars that are healed, and you are still here is victory sure enough.

20 THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE & MARRIAGE

20 THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE & MARRIAGE

Growing up I used to love the sitcom “Married With Children”. It was pretty much the dawning of the dysfunctional family being put in the face of viewers around the world. Of course, I never would want to grow up and have a marriage like that, but the previous television shows that showcased marriages either made them seem too good to be true or just downright boring.

Getting married at the tender age of 20 myself, I had a lot of people that was in my ear telling me I was too young and I needed to live life more before making such a lifelong decision. Or worse yet, there were those who said their marriages didn’t last and I was definitely not going to make it. So in my marriage I went in with a lot of doubts (honestly) but I made the decision for me; not for my family, not for even our own son (which was why I didn’t have the proverbial “shotgun” wedding; pregnant with my family holding a shotgun to my soon to be husband while he made an “honest” woman out of me  ).

So this year I celebrate 20 years of marriage. Made it this far, we’re still alive, still in love, and still working on it. Here are some of the few things I’ve learned about love and marriage in these 20 years of marriage.

20 THINGS I’VE LEARNED ABOUT LOVE & MARRIAGE

1, Keeping God as the nucleus to your marriage will keep you glued together.

2. Effort can’t be 50/50, but 100/100. Each person has to put their all into the effort in order for there to be a just balance.

3. Marriage is not life, it is is a decision you make in your life. (Some people have made marriage out to be what their life is all about)

4. It is not a fairytale, neither is marriage the wedding. The wedding and marriage are two completely different things. (The wedding is just the event to celebrate entering into the marriage, then the work begins)

5. Don’t run to friends and family to discuss your disagreements and personal affairs.

6. You must be friends first, and lovers always.

7. It’s okay to have healthy fights, just don’t try to destroy the other person’s feelings or character in the process. (Don’t get personal with the disagreements)

8. Marriage is a business so we might as well make a profit  (Money issues should be discussed regularly and they should build and grow with your marriage so a profit is made, not a deficit)

9. Separation is sometimes necessary to come back together stronger.

10. Never allow anyone to come in between your relationship except God!

11. It’s okay to not like your spouse sometimes, as long as you love them through the moments of dislike.

12. Love does not hurt, so anyone or any song that said that is a liar!

13. It is never your spouse’s responsibility to make you happy, but they should be able to tell when you are not.

14. Marriage should be a stepping stone, not an albatross; it should enhance your life, lift you up and help you to get where your going, not get in your way.

15. No other couple should be relationship goals. The only goals you should have is to make your own marriage stronger with each day.

16. Going through struggles shouldn’t tear you apart, but should bond you together.

17. You CAN help who you “fall” in love with, and choose whether you’re going to make it work or not.

18. Pray together as if your life and love depends on it!

19. Guard your ears and eyes from things that will cause you to compare your spouse to unrealistic expectations of people or things they could never be!

20. Its usually in the moments your spouse seems unlovable that they need love the most!

Oh, and here’s an added bonus so we’ll call this #21:

It’s okay to go to sleep mad at each other, just sleep in separate rooms to prevent holding a pillow over the other person’s head 🙈🙉🙊 Start over the next day, and be thankful to experience a new day with your love!

Of course this list is NOT all inclusive of all that I have learned over the past years. There has been so much I have learned about love, marriage, and making it through. The most important thing is that I will never stop learning because it’s a never ending education. When two people join together, they are still two people. We will always be learning the other person, we will always be growing, and we also will still be learning who we are as well. There have been many ups and downs in this journey, but I am thankful that I am still here to say I’ve experienced it, learned from it, and have grown through it and most importantly love my husband more than the day we first got married.

Wishing You a Successful Beauty-Filled Journey,

Elizabeth Jennings💕 , The Minister Of Beauty (TM)

TEEN MOM: 24 YEARS LATER

TEEN MOM: 24 YEARS LATER

Twenty Four years ago today I had a child. It was not in my plans to be a teen mom at 15 years old. One week before my 16th birthday, bringing a child into this world was something I never thought I would be doing but it happened. What a sweet sixteen present, huh?!! I was extremely scared, but honestly thinking back, I was in a foggy state of mind. You see, I wasn’t quite clear about my life, and where it was headed. I of course had heard the stories about how young girls who had kids had to drop out of school to take care of their kid. Although school for me was not a fun experience nor did I even really know what I wanted to do with my life, I was sure of one thing. I wasn’t going to be like the normal teenage mom. I was going to do something that was going to make a difference in my life. Not even was it about doing it for my child, it was about proving to myself that I wasn’t going to just be a statistic.

Listen, I’m not going to lie to you, I wasn’t quite clear even after ten years of being a teen mom that I was sure that I wanted to be X, Y or Z. I just believed that there was a bigger purpose for my life and that I had to see it through. I’m so thankful I went with those thoughts and saw them through. Today, as I write this I am a beauty business entrepreneur. I have established myself in the beauty industry as a success who did not start with much, but developed into having so much more. I am not done yet, and there is so much more to behold. But you see, I am grateful that I did this; not with the help of having a reality show backing like the teen moms of today’s MTV or other networks that create shows about teenage mothers and their experiences. I didn’t do it with the help of a rich family. I didn’t even do it with the belief and encouragement from others that I could accomplish something more. I did it because I didn’t give up and I kept my faith in God, even when I was pretty much a non-believer in a greater higher power back in those days. I just wanted more, and I sought that. I got the affirmations I needed through scriptures I found, continued to speak them over my life, and prayed for better and watched my prayers come to reality. I honestly was having God prove himself to me! I was like, okay if you’re real prove it; let me see this happen in my life! It was daring, but nonetheless I went there.

So here’s my thoughts on being a teen mom, looking back 24 years ago: Do I condone teenage pregnancy? Absolutely not. Do I regret having a child early? At this point, I do not. Would I do it again? Probably not, and with that I mean I probably would not have kids, and I chose to not have anymore. That doesn’t mean I don’t love the child that I did have, but I do think the selfish thing is when people have a lot of kids they cannot take care of and expect others and society to help to raise it and pay for it. I didn’t do that. I worked in high school from the moment I ws able to get a job and have worked hard ever since. I’ve worked full time, going to school full time for many years and I did it without complaining. When I look back on it now, I say that there has to be a God because he helped me get through all of those many years and it was not easy. Honestly, I never was one of those girls that said I wanted to have 3.5 kids, a husband and a house with a white picket fence. I didn’t really have a desire to even be a mother, but God allowed me to see it through. I’m also not one of those people that says God doesn’t make any mistakes. Listen to me; God didn’t have sex and create this child, I did (with the help of my baby daddy and now husband of almost 20 years LOL). But what he did do was through my slip ups and mistakes allow all these things to eventually work out for my good.

Wishing You a Successful Beauty-Filled Journey,
Elizabeth Jennings💕